Jesus Is Coming…Open Your Mouth!

Jesus Is Coming, Open Your Mouth

There are SO many things wrong with this t-shirt!

Let’s start this whole Offensive Funny T-Shirts Blog off with a bang, shall we? There are two things that will push people’s buttons harder than anything else in the world, and those things are religion and politics. We’ll talk about the second in later blogs, because this shirt is all about offending the religious. Not just religious people, but Christians in particular.

I am not a Christian in any sense of the word. I am not agnostic, I am not Muslim, and I am not Buddhist. If I were forced to categorize myself, I would have to say that I am absolutely nothing, and that is exactly how I would like to keep it. Christianity means nothing to me, and neither do the people who waste their time worshiping it.

There is an infographic floating about out there that depicts symbols of the world’s major religions, each of them being thrown into a waste basket. The caption reads, “Grown Ups Should Not Play With Imaginary Friends.” That image came to me long after I had made my decision that we are all just sacks of super-evolved meat and that there is simply nothing waiting for us after death. Still, the image carried a lot of significance for me and I adhere to it strongly.

This is why funny t-shirts like these really tickle the hell out of me. To me, Jesus is nothing more than a guy who was needlessly tortured and killed some 2000 years ago. That is very tragic, but I can honestly say I never met the guy and there are much worse atrocities happening all over the world right now…so I tend not to waste a lot of thought on people who died 2000 years ago. Christians, however, revere this dead guy as a deity…which means we have entirely different sets of priorities.

When I see a shirt like this, it makes me laugh ONLY because of the importance people put in this figure. To me, it makes fun of a commonly-used saying very well. Christians are constantly touting that “Jesus is coming soon.” Well, if you love and respect the guy…the least you can do is open your mouth and swallow. Cheers!

You can find this offensive, funny t-shirt at


Posted on April 22, 2011, in comedy, funny t-shirts, offensive t-shirts, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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